Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Want to play a game of hide and clap?

My sister (Inkubus), friend Stan McTeacup, and I finally got to see The Conjuring last week.  Generally, I really like it, with a few quibbles.  
 Here is the official synopsis


In 1971, Carolyn and Roger Perron move their family into a dilapidated Rhode Island farmhouse and soon strange things start happening around it with escalating nightmarish terror. In desperation, Carolyn contacts the noted paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to examine the house. What the Warrens discover is a whole area steeped in a satanic haunting that is now targeting the Perron family wherever they go. To stop this evil, the Warrens will have to call upon all their skills and spiritual strength to defeat this spectral menace at its source that threatens to destroy everyone involved. Based on a true story.



Little backdropped  on that "true story"  bit. There really is a Perron family, and there really is the Warrens, a couple who   "investigate"   supposed ghost and demonic possession. Unlike in the movie though, their huating went one for 10 years, and  didn't end after the Warrens left. 
Spoilers be here! 
The eldest daughter, Andrea Perron, later published two books  about the event that happened in those ten years.  Apparently the house was full of ghost, some good, some bad, but all sharing sofa space with a family of seven .  IF what she says it true, I really can't figure out why the hell they stayed as long as they did. Especially when Andrea makes statements like this “Let's just say, there was a very bad male spirit and five little girls,”  Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.   Right, Ok. So, what, mom is getting driven out of her mind by a witchs ghost (who might have the hots for dad?), there is a screaming girl ghost who like to cry all night, and five helpless little girls and one nasty male ghost, plus disembodied voices that go on through the night taunting the children. (and those are just the nasty ones!)? And then you have the Warrens.  Who are either con artist, nuttier than the people they are "helping",  or truly have a gift for finding and helping people who have some truly fucking freaky shit happening.  
Ok, I for one do not really believe in the brand of ghost busting the Warrens preach. For starts, (from what I can gather on the web and their site)  it is very tied in with the Catholic  religion. And, being on the agnostic end of things myself, I have issues with that. But hey, I can put up with it so long as they aren't trying to baptize me on my way out of the theater.  
Really, with all this you have the makings of one hot mess of a story,  right up there with the worst Exorcist movie. 

But here is the funny thing.  It's not.  Sure, it has it flaws, (there is a part with a black light  and hand prints that had me wondering if I missed some technical aspect, or if they somehow magically wiped the whole damn room down beforehand),  and if you're not the church going type, you'll probably be a little meh when the focus goes away form the ghosts and on to God for a line or to.  But damn, if there weren't some really old scary parts  How scary?  Well, Stan said "I'm glad I saw it with a friend", and really, I think that is the best way to sum it up.  I has fun, but I'd be creeped out if I was along in a dark theater watching it. This movie is not gory, The ghost are old school looking. But damn if you are glad you're not in that fecking house. (I am never playing hide and seek AGAIN) The acting is very good, with some nice "real" exchanges between the two couples, and you really do hope the Perrons get some peace and quiet.  The ending may be a little too neat (and rushed), but that didn't bother me too much.  All in all I'd rate this as a great summer movie to see with friends,  and I'll be looking to get a copy when Halloween comes around.

One last complaint.  I guess one of the privileges of watching an R rated movie nowadays is over a half and hour of "movie previews".  SHITTY movie previews (the last R rated movie I remember seeing was The Wolfman, and it didn't have THAT long a preview before the movie).
   Inky ate through her stash of candy out of sheer boredom while waiting for the damn movie to start.  The only movie  that I wanted to see out of 30 min of previews was the Riddick sequel.