Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Hi Fun Kou Gai, ひふんこうがい

  Hi Fun Kou Gai: (n.) describes a righteous, miserable anger, a frustration and despair over a        situation that seems terrible but cannot be changed.

  Here we are, the passing of the year, a point in time, a place in space.  We start each year with such high hopes, right? As I sit here, typing this, I've just heard Carrie Fisher died a few hours ago. Another name from my childhood, gone much younger then is right.  and there are still four days left to the year, before we get  "a blank slate" as they say. But we all know there no blank slate. 

  I have no witty comments, no Years End celebrations, no Sayonara suckers for 2016.  On a personal level 2016 was good in many ways. Dad got his knees operated on, we seem to be doing better with the animals, were finally getting the house finished. 

  But 2016 was horrible. It was horrible to many of my friends. It was horrible to the world. It was horrible for many of my childhood heroes. May who have passed away are younger then my parents are right now. Scary thought. 
   I've spent all year having great minds tell me the worst can't happen, so stop worrying, and then the worst did happen.  And now things will  be set in motion and choices will be made that will hurt people I care about, and I can't stop it.  

  I'm not gonna make any resolution for 2017. No "I hope for in 2017 wishes". I already know that it will be bad, just don't know how bad.  I'm feeling tired and low tonight.  I was hoping for maybe a bit of a boost  over the holidays, but that didn't really happen. I honestly just want to forget 2016. and I don't want 2017 to try and outdo 2016,